Don't let go too soon...Don't hang on too long

Shakespeare said, "The course of true love never did run smooth." Tanya Tucker sang, "If it don't come easy, you better let it go." Setting aside the fact that we're comparing Shakespeare and Tanya Tucker here, these are two very opposing viewpoints...and both are valid.

I've been in relationships where it was not easy at the beginning. The timing was off but we both wanted to be together, so we fought to make it work. I've also been in relationships that flowed smoothly right from the start and obviously those didn't work out either. The one constant for me, in every relationship I've had, is that I stayed in the relationship until I was absolutely sure it wouldn't work. As a result, I've never gone back to an ex and I've never had a single regret once I was out of it. I did everything I could.

I know people who break up to make a point. "Fine. I'm done!" They storm off and wait for the other person to come chasing after them. Not me. I try to work it out until we're both to the point that we can't stand each other anymore. Not only do I check the pulse to make sure the relationship is dead, I wait for the autopsy results AND attend the funeral. I'm there long, long after I should have given up because, Lord knows, I'd hate to let go too soon.

Don't get me wrong -- I've walked away from plenty of men in the beginning, when they first showed their true colors. If someone wasn't "into me" enough or our interests weren't similar or he just wasn't what I was looking for, I could very easily stop things before they went any further. But once I've committed myself to the relationship, it's not easy for me to let go. Not until I am absolutely sure it isn't going to work out.

If it's right, supposedly from the beginning it just flows. Every day is sunshine and roses. You never have any conflicts, you never have to wonder what the other person is thinking. That's the theory anyway.

I don't think I've ever had a relationship where the other person did everything one hundred percent the way I wanted. There was always a time when I wanted to talk to him and he didn't call. Or when I left a text message and he didn't return it for several hours. I almost always wanted to see him more than I was able to -- because when you're in love that's how it is. You can't get enough of the other person. If that did happen, I would be the one pushing him away, no doubt. Who needs someone calling every time she even thinks of him? Always on her sofa every time she wishes he were there? There's something to be said for things not going as "perfectly" as they're supposed to.

But I will acknowledge, I have wasted far too much of my life waiting around for a relationship to work out. I was in a ten month relationship I now realize I should have ended six months in. I was in a four month relationship I should have ended at the two month mark. But if I had, I would have never known for sure that it couldn't have been worked out. And can there be anything worse than wondering about "the one that got away?"

If only we were all psychic...