Blog Me..Blog Me Not..

I'm now MARRIED, but even when I was in a serious relationship before we tie the knot, my now husband learned of my blog on Multiply. I didn't hide it from him -- in fact, I felt writing was such an integral part of who I was, anyone who was right for me would be supportive right from the beginning.

Not a smart move. You see, back then my blog, located on Multiply, centered around the difficulties of dating in your 30s. I wrote about the losers. The jerks. The whacko first dates with men not suitable as co-workers, let alone soul mates. Can you imagine dating Multiply''s Carrie Bradshaw? Your every thought would be, "Is she going to write about ME next?"

He didn't think that.

Of course, by that time I wasn't writing about bad dates because I wasn't having them. For the first few months I didn't mention him at all, and when I did, it was with the utmost caution. All was well for about a year...

Then I became lax in my writing.

It was normal for me to write about common relationship dilemmas. Things I've written about here. What if you're dating someone who doesn't want children? What if you're dating someone who doesn't call as often as you'd like? What if things aren't progressing as quickly as you'd like? What if you're still the "other woman"?

Most of the time these situations were inspired by readers, who would write in for advice. He'd miss that point, though, and ask, "Was that about me?" Soon I realized even prefacing it with, "A reader sent this in," wasn't enough. I was making him paranoid.

I began censoring my writing. I'd come up with topics and decide it wasn't wise to write about that with him reading. He read along, every day, with that e-mail notification coming to his e-mail inbox.

Then I moved to Blogger.

And he lost my blog.

Soon I discovered, though, that there's a freedom in the fact that he's not reading. I can write whatever I want without worrying he'll ask if today's blog was about him.

Of course, I don't... You never know who else might be reading.

Exes. Relatives. Friends. His co-workers...

I think that's another reason why naming my blog from the character of my favorite novel is much better. 

Now it's your turn. Does your significant other read your blog? How does he feel about it? Does knowing he's reading influence what you write?