HE'LL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU

How many of you have known a woman who found herself in a relationship with a married man?

How many of you thought to yourself, "He'll never leave his wife for you" even when your friend was sure he would? "He just wants to wait until his youngest is in college. Then he'll leave."

It never happens. Not for your friend. But then I can name at least four situations I know of personally where the man was married and having an affair, then he left his wife for the other woman. So why does it happen for everyone else, but not your friend?

And why is it, when a woman cheats, she's more likely to leave her marriage than a man is?





Many experts feel the answer to that is simple. Women cheat for emotional reasons while men cheat for physical ones. In other words, for men it's about sex. For women it's about feeling loved. It's easy to see, of those two choices, which one would tempt someone into thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If a man can get wild, passionate sex on the side while still having all his other needs met at home, what incentive does he have to climb over that fence? But a woman gets a taste of the romance, the passion, the EXCITEMENT, and suddenly it looks more inviting than her boring, dissatisfying married life.

It's rarely ever that simple. In fact, in this case men are actually the wiser of the two. If you leave your marriage for another person, and you marry that person, your chances of that marriage lasting fall BELOW 25 percent. Why? It's not rocket science. You began your relationship on a foundation of mistrust and deception. How can a relationship on that foundation last?

There are other reasons, too. Say a man does leave his wife for his mistress. Or say a woman leaves her husband for her affair partner. How long until this "ideal relationship" becomes just like the marriage that preceded it? Real life brings real problems. Kids, housework, budget issues. Once the affair is no longer "fun time," the couple is subjected to the same problems as any other relationship...only with the added stress of that cracked foundation.




Think about it. If YOU were the other woman (or man), how could you trust the person you're with, knowing that person has a history of cheating? "But that was a bad marriage; this is a good one" can only go so far. You know that somewhere, in the back of that person's mind, he or she is always wondering if it will happen again. Every time someone new enters the picture, you would wonder... Every time your spouse had to work late or had a mysterious call that had to be taken out of your earshot, that tiny seed of doubt would begin to grow...

What about all of these affairs that don't end a marriage? What happens? Everyone knows about the woman over in accounting who's been sleeping with her married boss for ten years. Or the rep who use to be a bootie call of his manager. Since most affairs last an average of 1-4 years, something has to kill it.

In some cases, an affair ends because one or both of the married participants get caught. Nothing will kill an affair faster than it becoming public knowledge. And if it's a choice between a man having sex with that hot girl at work or keeping his home and being able to see his children every night, most men are going to choose the latter. So they will do whatever it takes to make the spouse happy, which usually means cutting off all contact with the other person.






Then there are the many affairs that go undiscovered. What ends those? Oftentimes if one of the partners is single, that person finally gets tired of always being second best. He or she meets someone new and ends things. But surprisingly, most of the time, affairs simply fizzle out. The passion starts to die, the deception becomes too much work, or guilt finally breaks through the thick skull of the person who had vowed to love only one person until death. In that case, the cheater's spouse will probably never find out about the affair...he or she may even go to the grave believing his/her spouse was always faithful. You've got to wonder about that. Would most people rather know? Or is it possible that, in most cases, what you don't know won't hurt you...?

***sassy**